4kids1mum <3

Been a really long long time since i blogged. As you guessed my hands are full. And thanks to Olivia i actually have the effort to sit down ad blog while the kids are attached to my breast.

Christmas have passed , and the first log cake i baked in pink for rislin :)

The kids grow up so fast. Rislin will be going Nursery next year and Liris to Pre Nursery. The schoolfees are a killer though at $880 a term. God bless me.

A updated picture of me with my chio new PINK specs..

And as you guessed my three child are still breastfeeding totally. I am also handling my business and kids myself as usual. Its been such a tiring journey as my body is slowly weakening. I could feel that im weaker, my back hurts daily now due to after labour injuries.My memory is worst than ever, i have heart issues now, whereby every at least 4 hrs period once my breathing would be fast and i feel suffocated then light headed. When im agitated i will become even more breathless.

I also lost a best friend recently, she was the only best friend i had and she is always there for me. When i ran into financial diffculties she would loan me without asking why and trusting me to return her. She was like my everything.. When i saw her at the ICU bed with life support system, i want to cry but no tears came out. I was in daze for weeks. I cant accept the reality even now. I want to hold her hand so much but im unable to again. I wan to plan the christmas present for this troublesome woman who has almost everything she wants. But its not happening again.

I felt like my world broke apart when i went to her funeral. When i helped her mum with clearing her clothes, my heart broke again. I remember what were her fravoite clothes and the clothes she bought from me. She even kept the card i gave her last year and this year it came back to me. Its hard to describe how heartbroken i felt. words alone cant describe my pain.

When at her funeral,my girl ran around and my husband could swear that she looked happier from her funeral picture.She was suppose to be married next year and been through so much sufferings. I wished my life was changed with hers.She is so loved and so important in everyones life unlike me making an unsignificant difference.

Anyway.. back to christmas night, i bought new earrings and after sooo long of not touching makeup, i finally makeup again! I love my new earring.